Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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