1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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