"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
