all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
