Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
