Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
