My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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