Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
