New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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