Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
