Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
