Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
They are going to name an STD after you.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
