You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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