things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish you could order shots online.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
