You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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