i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
