Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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