We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
