Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
