No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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