If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
