i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
