He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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