id be glad to
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Let's paint friendship bongs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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