Your mouth is God's brothel.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
