i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
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im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.