I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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