I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.