She announced her abortion via fbk
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.