i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
