I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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