take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There's even glitter on my cock...
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