Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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