Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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