Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
