just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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