Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
