Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
