he puts the penis in happiness.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
