just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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