I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
