finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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