"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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