we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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