Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
