how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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