Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
