I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
