don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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