I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There r osticjed everywhere
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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