NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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