I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize