Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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