yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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