it hurts more in the daytime
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
