i'm signing you up for texting rehab
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
