just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
