Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize