i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
