This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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