I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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