Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
