I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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