i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
